The fresh, crisp air sends small shivers down your spine. A yellow leaf flutters off a tree. Fall décor lines the store shelves. All little signs that the summer days are coming to an end. And for some, that can mean only one thing: Back to School.
While some long for the unstructured summer days, some are equally ready to get back into a routine. There are so many new things to enjoy with back to school: shopping for new clothes, shoes, and fresh school supplies; reconnecting with friends; and getting back into sports and after-school activities.
When Returning To School Brings More Worries Than Excitement
Not everyone looks forward to back to school. For many kids, school is a source of anxiety. It’s a lot of pressure — to study, to fit in, to sit still most of the day. The mere mention of school might send these kids into a spiral.
So how do we help?
Get Back Into A Routine BEFORE School Starts
If routine has gone out the window over the summer, a good place to start is getting back into a schedule. Ways to do this include:
Bedtime/Wake Up Time: About a week or so before school starts, try moving bedtime closer to their typical school night bedtime and waking them up earlier. Sleep is so vital to children’s mental health, and it’s often one of the first places I look to fix.
Meals: Have set times for meals and snacks. Try to eat together as a family if possible.
Screen Time: If screen time rules have gone out the window over the summer, see if you can start limiting screens to 1-2 hours a day before school starts. See the bottom of this blog post for resources on screen time and youth for some guidance.
Practice calm breathing: A simple “In through your nose, hold, out through your mouth, hold” can do wonders for calming the nervous system.
Back To School Anxiety: Explore What’s Wrong Without Reassuring Or Problem-Solving
Once your child is calm, talk to them about what their specific worries are. Our instincts might be to reassure them it’s okay, or try to find a solution, but I encourage you to let them sit with those feelings for a minute.
Let them know it is okay and normal to be worried about going back to school. School can be hard. Making friends doesn’t come naturally for everyone. Studying isn’t usually fun. And that’s okay. We all get nervous and scared sometimes.
This simple process is called validation. Sometimes kids just want to be heard and understood.
Ask If They Want Help Coming Up With Solutions
Once you’ve thoroughly explored their feelings, ask them if they want support finding a way to deal with it.
Potential solutions could involve:
Positive Self-Talk: Encourage your child to say things like “I can do it.” “I’m good at making friends.” “Not everyone will like me, and that’s okay, I can still make friends.”
Developing a Positive Mindset: Talk about the good/exciting parts of school.
Help Them Prepare: Walk/drive to the school together, play in the playground there, or find any other way to get used to the environment prior to school starting.
Praise and Reward: Give your child lots of praise for pushing past their anxiety and going to school. Rewards can be useful, especially in cases of school refusal.
When Should You Seek Extra Help
Let’s say you’ve done all this, but your child is still anxious. When is it time to reach out for help from a therapist? Here are some warning signs that anxiety is getting the best of your child.
Your child:
has constant physical complaints with no medical cause
cries before going to school every day
lashes out/has tantrums
refuses to go to school
constantly asking for reassurance
In the end, only you can decide if your child needs some extra support from a mental health professional. I encourage you to seek out support before your child is missing multiple days of school due to anxiety. Once a child starts missing school, they get behind and it becomes even harder to return.
Many of the therapists at Balance, including myself, have helped children cope with school-related anxiety. Feel free to reach out for a free consultation to see how we can help!
Further reading and resources:
Screen Time Tips: Tips for parents (alberta.ca)
Screen Time Information: Facts for youth (alberta.ca)
Free webinars from AHS on various mental health topics, including anxiety: Virtual Education (cyfcaregivereducation.ca)
--
About Balance Psychological Services
Balance Psychological Services is a psychological private practice aimed toward healing, growth, and balance. Our mission is to ensure that every person who walks through our doors feels seen and accepted for exactly who they are, no matter the circumstances they are facing. With offices conveniently located in Stony Plain, Edmonton, and Beaumont, we are here and ready to help you find your balance. Book an appointment today.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Balance Psychological Services' blog posts is meant for educational purposes only. This is NOT medical or mental health advice. If you are seeking mental health advice, please contact us directly at (587) 985-3132.